Thursday, December 29, 2005

Who'd a Thunk it?

Sure as heck not me!
I've read some blogs and I always think "that's cool .... but I don't have enough to say". And maybe I don't; time will tell!
I guess I'll start out like all the others I've seen and introduce myself. Most of you who will come here will be my friends so I'm a little self-conscious about spilling the beans on how great I think I am, lol! No, really ... Anyway, here goes!
I'm Ali - a thirty-something Mom of two and wife to David. My two kids are CJ and Xander, twin boys who will turn five on September first! I can't believe they will be going off to Kindergarte; and at the same time, I can't believe they're not already going off to college! They seem both so grown up and still my little babies at the same time. David is a Software Development Manager for a small insurance claims processing company (try saying that ten times fast) out east, so he gets to work from home. I'm a Stay-at-Home Mom.
I'm not very good at my Mom-job. Well, let me amend that: I'm not a real hands-on mom. My boys are very independant and play with friends all day long. They are rarely home for me to "mother" them. I don't sit and read books with them for hours or play tons of games with them. When they ask me to, I try to accomodate them, but otherwise they entertain themselves. I have mixed feelings about this: On the one hand I think "I'm not their cruise director!" so I'm happy they can entertain themselves. While on the other hand I am fearful I really AM not a good mom, that I'm failing them somehow.
Then I think the 'proof is in the pudding', right? and I look at who these boys are. When I do that, I feel a lot better about myself. How can I be all wrong if they are turning out so well? They are happy, fun, imaginative. They are not afraid to talk to people or to try new things. We rarely have problems and when we do, I offer up a consequence and they take it and they try to do better next time. Life is good with these boys - THEY are good boys. So I can't be THAT bad as a mom, right? Right?????
But I don't see myself as "just a mom". I honestly don't see any woman as just a mom, but I know a LOT of us view ourselves that way. I think there is so much to me, so many facets, some even as yet undiscovered, that I could never be "just a mom". I encourage every woman who thinks that of herself to look deep within and discover her inner sanctum so to speak ... discover herself. (sounds like a load of psycho-babble, doesn't it?). I just truly believe that all of us are blessed with talents just waiting to be discovered if we'll only look.
I've discovered several talents, and many interests that I hope will become talents! I've been a professional opera singer, I am a professional photographer and I hope to be a professional writer too. Just don't judge my future books by my poor writing here. ;) I'll write more on my interests and my professional pursuits another time.
If I were to say what it is I think I'll be writing about here, it would probably be my thoughts and feelings of being a stay-at-home-mom whose kids are out at school. What do I do with myself now? What are my plans and how will I make with them? Will things turn out the way I hope? Or will life take me down a path as yet unanticipated?
I won't presume to ask you back again - I've probably bored you to tears - but just in case I haven't, feel free to leave me a note or just to come back again. I hope I'll inspire you to discover your own hidden talents, you're own reservoir of truth.