Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Check Yer Pockets!

Failing to do so could result in tragic consequences:

Gum sticks to clothing and lint screens. Yucky, sticky mess!

Chocolate will require you to wash everything twice over.

Bugs are just plain yucky (makes no difference if they are alive or dead they all come out the same after a good wash and dry!).

But the most tragic of all is the loss of Pokemon Cards.

Heaven forbid you should wash Pokemon Cards. Please, learn from my mistake and check those pockets! Pokemon Cards are not only expensive in terms of the dollars and cents we carefully mete out to our children, but they are extraordinarily valuable in the life of a five year old boy. They are personal friends, loyal friends, whose names and attributes are memorized, cherished and repeated often as a strange little mantra.

Pokemon Cards, despite their hefty life points or defense points, sadly cannot survive the attack of the Washer and Dryer. (must be a manufacturer exploit knowing full well parents WILL wash them!) They come out of the dryer hard and fragile, curled up, balled up, fraying and splitting. There is simply no hope for them but to receive a swift burial, preferably deep in the garbage can under other garbage so as to escape notice.

Yep, today Mom is a murderer and I truly hope to escape justice and pretend like it never happened (except for learning, finally, after all my previous lessons on the subject to CHECK THOSE POCKETS!!!).