Thursday, February 16, 2006

Who needs the Birds and the Bees anyway?

I’ve often wondered how that talk about the Birds and the Bees would go. I mean, what do the birds and the bees have to do with procreation anyway? Is it something about the bee and his stinger? (Even though it doesn’t work that way) And the birds? I have no idea.

But Sea Monkeys, now that I can get my head around.

My boy is raising sea monkeys. In his tank there are monkeys of all varieties, including the boy and girl type. A few of them have gotten romantic and have decided to make babies.

When two amorous sea monkeys ‘get together’ the boy attaches himself to the girl, about mid-way down her body, and they stay together that way for days, sometimes even weeks. During that time, he never leaves her; they swim together constantly. Also during that time you can see that gradually the lower portion of her body grows more opaque, and takes on a yellowish tinge.

Eventually, however, they will part, but if they are successful the girl is left with a little package down low on her body in which she carries who new tiny eggs growing in their egg sac. Some day, she’ll drop her eggs and when they hatch is entirely up to them.

So a boy and a girl decide they like each other and want to make babies. The boy has to sacrifice his own independence in order to reach his goal, allowing himself to be taken wherever the girl wants to go and to do whatever she wants to do for the duration of the courtship. While the girl has to sacrifice her privacy and independence and has to work very very hard because she has to carry her partner around with her wherever she goes. Eventually he’ll leave her, but she won’t be as fancy-free as he, as she’ll still have her egg sac to carry around.

Thankfully my boys are really only interested in the fact that they will soon have more sea monkey babies; they haven’t focused on the callous nature of the whole business.

All right, so maybe sea monkeys don’t make for a good analogy for a healthy human relationship either, but I still don’t get the birds and the bees.