Thursday, April 17, 2008

Blue Skies

I feel like I've weathered my own personal storm and am finally sailing under blue skies again.

I got my employer to reduce my hours a bit - by eight hours. Doesn't sound like much but it is just enough to allow me to breathe a bit, to feel like I am still MOM and not just a slave for someone else. I still have to work Saturdays for another month or so, but there is a light at the end of that tunnel and plans to have me move to weekdays only as soon as possible.

I actually went back to Young Women's last night and began the process of getting involved with my calling again (which I've been totally slacking on the past six weeks or so.)

With David's mom gone, that is a huge relief and weight off of my shoulders. No more worries or sorrows in her behalf. There is still some concern about how Dad is doing, but I don't feel as personally impacted by that ... at least it's not stressing me out too much at the moment.

David and I had our first Critique Group meeting tonight with four amazing women. I'm excited about this because it is forcing me to put writing up front and center in my mind and life, which is where it belongs.

I've discovered I can print out a chapter or two of my book and bring it to work with me. In between calls I can edit and rewrite ... effectively leaving me in 'writing mode' all day. I love living in my book, it makes working so much more fun! And also, it's so much easier to plunk down and right when I have a few minutes because I've never really left the story all day. It's working great!

I love seeing my boys more and feeling more like their mom again. Oh yeah, I already prety much said that, didn't I? There was this moment the other night ... After I had finished reading to them, but before I'd taken them to bed there was this moment when the boys had been getting up, but then both kind of relaxed into me. I was lying down, they were both sitting looking at a book together over my body. I don't know ... it wasn't a big thing or anything that's interesting to describe. But that moment of them ... relaxing, sighing ... into my body. The closeness, the intimacy, the familiarity and safety of it. It was sweet and warm and I keep replaying it in my mind. I'm so happy to be their mom and to have the chance to spend more time with them again.

Feeling good tonight. Happy. Relieved. Things are better. And getting better-er! Rah! Rah!