Reduce & Simplify

Yesterday a friend asked me why I have two blogs.

You and I have had this discussion before; you might remember we talked about Cross Blogination. I thought, at that time, that I ought to keep both my blogs going because I didn't want to snub the followers I had on this blog. However, it is a bit complicating.

So, I've decided that I ought to stick with one blog.

It pains me to say it, but I really do need to stick with one blog, and in this case, I'm going to make my alicross blog the one I stick with. I'm not going to altogether delete this blog, but I am going to make a go at just one blog and see how I do with that.

Long story short . . . if you're crazy enough (or love me enough, which I might argue are the same thing) to follow me over there, come on over and, if you don't mind, become a follower there.

Thanks so much for reading my blog and being my friends!

The Reasoning of the Spirit

I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately about my writing and where it ought to go. I came up with ideas that really seemed great. I told my crit buddies about them and they thought the ideas were great too. Everything seemed to say "this is the way you should go."

Until I had the opportunity this week, to resubmit some of my work to a publisher with only a few changes to the original manuscript.

I honestly thought my answer would be "no thank you," because the new ideas I'd had for my work made so much more sense. I could go on and on about the why's and wherefore's of my ideas and how they would benefit my book.

Nevertheless, it was a big decision (as in: Do I stick with my new plan and burn the bridge with that publisher? Or do I throw away all the good ideas I just had--and that sounded so darn good--in favor of giving this publisher another shot?) so I thought I ought to ask Heavenly Father about it.

I have found that the best and most reliable way to receive answers in prayer is to go with your decision already made, and then ask to know if you have made the right decision. I laid it out for Father, then told him I had decided to kindly pass on the opportunity and stick with the new changes I had been outlining.

And He disagreed.

At first, I thought maybe I'd misunderstood the answer as I felt it. But the next day, I continued to feel good about working on the changes the publisher had requested. I saw in my mind how the book could be improved, and more importantly, how the story, while less tantalizing perhaps, would have the potential of more clearly delivering the story I wished to tell. And, the more I tried to think about the changes I had just the day before loved, the more I found them hard to hold on to--they just wanted to slip from my mind.

I prayed again, just for clarification, and was relieved to be well and truly educated about the best path for this book. I had thought, previously, that the best path was the one that would lead to higher readership and sales. And boy, that sounds good, doesn't it? But now I know that success can be measured in more than one way.

So now I have to go to all my friends and take back everything I said about why I needed to change my story. I got the advice from the one Person who's opinion really matters and I'm going to go with what He said. So there.

Silence is Golden

Come see my blog at the LDS Writers Blogck about the importance of daydreaming in your writing.

Thanks For The Memories

Where do memories come from? Do they come from the special, once-in-a-lifetime experiences? Or are they found in the mundane?

Would your favorite lifetime memory be the time you went to Sea World with your family and got soaked to the skin? Or would it be the leisurely Saturday mornings you enjoy every week, laughing and joking over brunch?

Would you remember most the time you stood at the top of the Eiffel tower and surveyed the beauty of the Paris lights at night?

Or would it be the moment your child climbed into your lap, and looked at you, his eyes shining with love, and you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you would give your life for him?

I’ve spent the last few days on vacation with my family. We’ve done things we’ve never done before, and have experienced things we may never experience again. Lots of money has crossed hands in order to provide my children with memories they could cherish for a lifetime.

And yet it was today, the most simplest of days, that has been my favorite.
Today we spent a few leisurely hours on a beach in La Jolla. The sun was warm, the sand shining with crushed sea shells, and the waves crashed with rhythmic intensity. And my children, my children were alive with happiness.

Where do I think memories come from? They are moments you share with someone you love. It doesn’t have to be a million-dollar-day. It can be every day. Just be present, be with someone you love, and be ready to remember . . . because it could be that moment, that fuels your imagination for the rest of your life.

Do or Do Not

Come read what I had to say about the immortal words of Master Yoda on the LDS Writers Blogck.

Those Who've Been In Darkness

As you probably know, I’ve written a novel called The Devil’s Daughter. As one might guess, it tells the story of a girl whose dad is Satan, and as you may have figured out, sometimes the story gets kind of dark. Twice now it’s been rejected by LDS publishers because of that very thing—too dark, they said.

The last time the manuscript was rejected, I took it kind of hard. I thought perhaps it was a statement about me. I wrote the words on those pages—they came from my heart. If they were too dark, wouldn’t that mean that my heart is black, that I am dark?

I’ve been thinking a lot about that, and it’s been rather enlightening.

My life is my own. I have made my choices and they have shaped the woman I am today. I have experienced pretty bad things, and it’s because of those experiences that I have felt to cherish the light when it has come into my life. The contrast of light and dark has made the wonder of the light all the more sweet.

I love the song “Hold On,” by Michael McLean. In it, he says . . . “And those who’ve been in darkness for a while, kneel much longer when the light has come.”

I had hoped that the LDS publishers would see that, would know that in order to examine the beauty of the light, we had to walk in the darkness, just a little bit. But maybe now I have the greater opportunity of sharing this story with people who are in darkness, who need to know there is hope.

That I can show these things in the stories I write doesn’t make me bad, it makes me lucky. Lucky to have seen both sides in this world. Lucky to have emotional resources that perhaps not all people do.

I will write the stories of my heart. I will share what I have learned so that maybe I can lift another. If I have the chance to show someone, just one person, the way out of the darkness, then everything I have suffered, all that I have experienced will be worth it.

Together We Are Beautiful

I love the moments with Dr. James Dobson on my local radio station. In just a few minutes, he offers wsdom and advice on parenting and relationships, that I often find uplifting and insightful.

Recently he shared the story of a grocery store that underwent a social experiment of sorts. The store manager challenged his employees to come up with their own personal signature and use it to improve customer relations.

Nicholas, a bagger with Down Syndrome, took the instructions to heart. The next morning he came to work with a stack of notecards. The front of each card featured a thought for the day, and Nicholas had signed the back. He put a card in each customer’s bag.

A few days later, the manager of the store noticed a long line at one of the registers. He opened another lane, but the customers refused to move. They wanted to have their groceries bagged by Nicholas, because they wanted one of his notes. One customer said she came in every day, just so she could have a new note.

News of what Nicholas had done, and the customer’s reaction, spread through the store. Soon the florist was handing out a carnation to each customer that walked past. The butcher put snoopy stickers on each of his packages of meat.

In a short period of time, the environment of the store changed from something mundane to something extraordinary—an experience that customers loved and returned again and again to enjoy. All because its employees sought to discover who they were, and to share the gift of themselves with everyone who came into the store.

Far too often we hold ourselves apart. We hide our light under a bushel, if you remember that old Sunday School song. And what are we saving ourselves, our light, for? And if we are saving ourselves, will we recognize our moment to shine, when it comes?

Like Grandma’s precious china that goes unused over a lifetime because no moment is special enough to warrant its use, it’s possible our own best selves may also be wasted.

For any of you who have been reading my blog for a while, you know I have issues with being myself. I am constantly worried that myself simply isn’t good enough, that if a friend knew the real me, they’d be sorely disappointed. Who am I, after all, if not just me? Just me, is not that special. Just me is insecure, sometimes lonely, sometimes unsure of my beliefs or who I really am.

But, to be fair . . . there is more.

Just me is loving, kind and generally thoughtful. Just me has spiritual gifts that bless my life and have, on occasion, blessed the lives of others. Just me has learned to treasure love, to cherish it.Just me can often recognize the beauty in others, even if I don’t always see it in myself.

So what would happen to the world at large if all of us sought to share ourselves, to let our lights shine? It doesn’t have to be in spectacular acts of selfless generosity, it can be as simple as a thoughtful note, like Nicholas did, or a sticker of our favorite cartoon character shared with some neighborhood kids. What would happen if we told the people we met that they were beautiful? Or told a mom, when we have overheard her talking to her child, that we were touched by the love we saw there?

Would we be shunned? Pushed away? Possibly.

But would we make a difference? Almost certainly.

“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.”

After a lifetime of feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere, I’ve recently discovered that I do have a place. There are people, strangely, who are willing to love me and accept me. And they are desirable friends, they are people I admire and for whom I have so much respect.

But there’s a catch.

If I want to keep these friends and be worthy of their friendship in return, I cannot hide my light under a bushel. I need to shine. Because in letting my light shine, I reflect the light of others, and together we are beautiful.

Tools of the Incompetent

Sometimes you find pearls of wisdom in the most unlikely places.

Last week while watching So You Think You Can Dance, one of those pearls dropped into my lap. The unlikely giver, the unlikely setting, left my mind reeling. It was brilliant. Pure wisdom on a reality dance show.

A girl who had high hopes of getting into SYTYCD’s Top Twenty was cut from the competition. She was beautiful, shining, and while tears glistened in her eyes, she smiled, and offered wisdom:

“Excuses are the tools of the incompetent and I will not use them."

Holy Guacamole. Was that a pearl she just flung out there?

I had to hurry to write down the words, and then I spent some time googling them—wondering if the dancer had authored them herself, or perhaps she was falling back on wisdom someone else had given her.

There seems to be some dispute as to who the author of this wisdom might be, and in fact I could not find record of the exact line quoted above. Stephen Grayhm said “Excuses are the tools with which persons with no purpose in view build for themselves great monuments of nothing,” but I like the dancer’s line better.

I cringe whenever I hear dancers on the show, singers on American Idol, or people in regular every day life, offer excuses as a way to avoid consequences for their actions or choices. I used to be an excuse girl—who among us hasn’t tried them, right? But eventually I learned that I made so many mistakes that the excuses started to sound flat, even to my own ears.

The truth is, mistakes happen. As human beings, we are far from perfect and it shows. We make glorious, huge, life-altering mistakes. But the awesome thing about mistakes is that if we own them, claim them, and if we are willing to take a good, hard look at them, we can learn from them.

Learning never happens when our minds have built up walls of excuses around the truth.

Strangely, I am grateful for the mistakes I have made. Because of a poorly written first book, I strove to write again, to see if I could do it better. And again, and again. I am getting better, and it’s only because I haven’t hidden behind excuses as to why I wasn’t awesome to begin with.

Because of mistakes, I have felt the sweet swelling of love and forgiveness of my Savior and Father in Heaven. If I’d hid behind my wall of excuses, I might never have known how much They loved me.

And because I no longer making excuses for the poor choices my mother made, I’m able to see how I can pilot my life better.

No good comes from making excuses, while so much joy awaits beyond them.

Possibly Stephen Grayhm, but I’m not certain, wrote a poem related to the line given by the dancer on SYTYCD:

"Excuses are monuments of nothingness,

They build bridges to nowhere,

Those of us who use these tools of incompetence,

Seldom become anything but nothing at all."

I, for one, plan on being something, warts and all. How about you?

Don't Bother Me. I'm Writing.

Come see why I haven't been blogging much lately . . . hopefully, you'll agree with me that I had a good reason.

Come read my blog today at the LDS Writers Blogck. See ya there!

Book Review ~ Dead Man Rising

Dead Man Rising by Lilith Saintcrow

  

My review

  rating: 4 of 5 stars
I have become a FAN of the Dante Valentine books.

Dead Man Rising is the second in the series and I thought it perhaps better with the first book. My only beef with it, was that it suffered from the same thing many in-between books suffer from. It felt a bit like a connector book, getting us from book one to book three.

But I was okay with that. I WANT to get to book three :)

This book had a much better story arc, a much more tangible antagonist and in general a more satisfying read. 

What it lacked, and that I missed, was a strong love connection. 

But again, I kind of guessed that from the name.

However, book three promises to give me more of that demon love I enjoyed so much from book one. Oh yeah baby!

  

View all my reviews.

So You Think You Can Dance in Retrospect

In anticipation of the new season of the TV show So You Think You Can Dance, I wanted to share my favorite dances from 2008.

Just as an aside, last night when they aired another episode of the auditions, one of the judges talked to a young man who thought he could just "get a teacher and learn how to do other dances, then come back next year." This man didn't seem to appreciate at all the enormity of what the dancers were doing out there on the stage. It isn't something one can simply "pick up" and expect to do as well, to as great acclaim, as those who have spent years perfecting their art.

Just because my world revolves around writing, I found this discussion to be applicable to writers as well. I think I too often forget that I am new to this game, relatively speaking. I've only been writing for a few years as opposed to many like other writers I know. I need to pay my dues, put in a zillion of hours of blood, sweat and tears, before I can hope to be counted among the big boys. And I know the sacrifice of time and energy will be well worth it when I can join their ranks with my head held high. 

Now, without further ado, and in no particular order ... my favorite 2008 dances ...

Whew, I guess that's all I feel like doing, lol. Sorry some of the videos were of crummy quality.

Free Spirit

I used to think I was a rebel, and therefore that I was bad.

I've always hated conforming to arbitrary standards--whether they were imposed on me by my mother, by school, by jobs. Believing that I was a rebel translated to believing I was bad.

What was wrong with me, that I wasn't satisfied doing what was expected of me?

Sometimes not conforming has meant going above and beyond expectations, but most often it has meant marching to the beat of my own drummer or taking the road less travelled.

It also means that I often have to travel with a machete because the road is troubled with brambles and thorns. It's not easy to travel that road.

So much easier to follow the crowd, go along to get along, be one among the many.

But I guess that's just not me.

I used to think I didn't know who I was--and honestly, I'm still working on that. But as I hang around with more writer types I discover I'm less an island than I thought. Writer types get me. Writer types are like me. This is an amazing realization for me, because I've never felt so accepted by a group of people before. It's also a little scary because I'm not usually a group person. I fly solo. Typically.

So in the framework of this discovery, I've learned that it's not just about being a rebel. It's more like being a free spirit.

I don't rebel because I don't want to conform. I rebel because I have a spirit that yearns to be free of customary restraints. I need to be free to go where my spirit takes me. I am not bad, I am me. 

I don't always know who I am, because I am constantly in flux. I don't have a particular style that defines me because I, by my very nature, am indefinable. I am simply me--happy, whimsical, determined, a bit nuts, special, unique. 

I am not a rebel, to be contained and reformed. I am a free spirit and I am meant to soar.

A Tag of Eights

It's been a long while since I've played a game of tag so when Shawntele tagged me, I was game (hardee har har.)

Here be Da Rules:
1. Mention the person who tagged you.
2. Complete the list of 8's.
3. Tag 8 other bloggers.
4. Tell them they have been tagged.

Eight Things I Look Forward To:

1. Getting my first book deal.
2. Losing the extra weight I'm carrying around.
3. Getting fit and being healthy.
4. Karen's photo shoot on Thursday.
5. San Diego with the family in June.
6. Seeing my sister again.
7. Finishing up Jump Boys and getting it into Shadow Mountain's hands.
8. Being a working, successful published author. :D

Eight Things I Did Yesterday

1. Slept in.
2. Had lunch with the fam at Red Robin.
3. Took the boys to see Star Trek and loved it--again!
4. Got rejected by a publisher.
5. Cried my eyes out.
6. Talked with friends.
7. Got hugged and held by my sweet honey.
8. Read a lot.

Eight Things I Wish I Could Do

1. Jump on a plane and visit my sister right now.
2. Deal better with Charlie on his 'off' days.
3. Be more consistent in going to karate.
4. Be a faster reader.
5. Be a more creative homeschooling mom.
6. Sing in an opera production again.
7. Make a CD.
8. Be published, lol.

Eight Shows I Watch

1. Smallville
2. Medium
3. Dollhouse
4. CSI
5. Eureka
6. So You Think You Can Dance
7. America's Funniest Home Videos
8. Chuck

Eight Friends I Am Tagging:

1. Karen
2. Shanna
3. Christine
4. Stephanie
5. Jeri
6. Kristi
7. Jennifer
8. Nichole

And there you have it! Crazy Eights, lol.

As you can tell, I'm back ... sort of. No promises, but I'm slowly starting to feel like myself again.

Don't be a stranger :) And if you haven't done it already, I'd love it if you became a follower. I'm a writer--I need constant reminders that I am loved ;)

Music Monday ~ I Am Proud To Be An American

I don't know if I'm back or not ... but I'm here today. Things are looking up in my world, so I'm hopeful I can handle blogging more regularly once again.

I am not an American. I am a Canadian. And yet, I love the song I chose today. I sing along with it and I feel the words burn within my heart. Even though I am not an American, I feel the truth and power in the words and I am.

Grateful to have the privilege of living in the United States. Grateful to be raising my boys here, to be patriotic, to love the country and what it stands for. It is an honor.

Book Review ~ Working for the Devil

Working for the Devil by Lilith Saintcrow

  

My review

  rating: 4 of 5 stars
Holy bad language Batman.

Several times I put this book down because the language was getting harder to jump over. But, I didn't get it out of the house fast enough, I guess because shortly I returned to it. The story was just that good and I needed to read it.

Being a sci fi nut, I found this to be an awesome story. Saintcrow writes of a world, our world, free of conventional customs and restraints. She manages to weave description of a complex futuristic world into the fabric of the story with ease. 

The protagonist is strong and believable--flawed in just the right ways that we can route for her, identify with her, and believe in her when she rallies and saves the day. (shh, I didn't say that.)

The love interest rivals, to my mind, Edward. Yes, I said it. I like him BETTER than Edward. 

Their love story is not unlike that between Edward and Belle, except the whole thing rings more true and makes more sense to me. 

The antagonist in the story was a little weak. Saintcrow could have done more with that, I think. I won't say more, because I don't want to give away the punchline, but you'll see what I mean if you read it. 

And I do recommend the book. IF you can tolerate serious bad language. As in every-other-word-out-of-their-mouths kind of bad. I got into the rhythm of it pretty well and go really good at substituting acceptable words when my eyes grazed over the offensive ones. But I'm not sure that's a skill I should be proud of or not. If you're not offended by that sort of thing, then go for it.

This is a fast-paced, action packed sci fi thriller that's unique and exciting. If you like strong female protagonists, love found in unlikely places, and the overarching, and ever-present, battle between good and evil, then this would be a great book for you.

  

View all my reviews.

Taking a Mental Vacation

Hi ya Folks,

I'm dropping by to tell ya'll that I'm not going to be blogging for a bit. Hopefully just a week, but perhaps longer. Or maybe I'll be back tomorrow. That's my prerogative, right? Keep ya guessing--that's my goal.

Don't worry, nothing's going on ... I just need to have a clear head with my writing right now and I'm finding there are too many voices talking at once. I need to give everybody a chance to say their peace so I can figure out what the heck they're all talking about. It's so noisy in my head, I can't even hear myself think.

So I'm going to go hang out with Me, Myself and I for a while, have some good heart-to-hearts, a regular ol' pow wow and see if I can't get some work done.

Forgive me if I'm not posting--especially, forgive me for not visiting your own blogs over the next while--and in the famous words of Arnold a la Terminator "I'll be bahck."

Till then, take care, adios, adieu.

Book Review ~ Skin Hunger

Skin Hunger by Kathleen Duey

My review

rating: 2 of 5 stars
This was an odd book.



Skin Hunger is the story of two people, Sadima a young woman in search of love and acceptance for herself and the magical gift she holds secret, and Hahp, a teenage boy who has been sent to the wizard academy against his will. Interestingly, Sadima's story is told in third person and Hahp's story is told in first person, alternating by chapter. Furthermore, Sadima's story happens several generations before Hahp's.



All of that I can live with. For me, the approach was unique and fresh. I didn't have a problem with it.



What I did have a problem with was ... why should I care?



I found this story to be entirely too much telling and not nearly enough feeling, showing, living and breathing of each character's story.



And what was worse, the story barely got anywhere and then completely left me hanging without any resolution at all. I understand it is a trilogy, nevertheless there was NO resolution. I can't recall a novel where that has happened before. Usually at least some part of the story comes to completion, but in Skin Hunger that's just not so.



I honestly can't say that I could recommend this book to anyone. I will likely read the next book when it comes out, and then, perhaps, I might recommend the two together. But at the moment, I'd say, don't waste your time with this book.


View all my reviews.

Thoughtful Thursday ~ Mindfulness

I've talked about this before but it's a topic I feel strongly about so I thought it wouldn't hurt to revisit the subject. Plus, I recently read an article that talked about the health benefits of living in the moment, and gave good tips on how to get started. 

But first, a little refresher course on what mindfulness is. Mindfulness is a concentrated state of awareness that can help you see and respond to situations with clarity. It's the ability to clear the mind of incessant chatter and diffuse the color of emotions in your decision-making.

Mindfulness can also help you to:

• Better manage tension and stress
• Be more objective
• Communicate and make decisions more effectively
• Be more productive

It's not hard for me to imagine that mindfulness could achieve all of those things. I love the TV show Life and in it the main character, Charlie Cruz, is totally into the teachings of Zen. One of the sayings he listens to is "One plus one is one." I believe it means that to be truly at peace, we must be at one--with the world around us, with people, with ourselves.

Some of the benefits of mindfulness are:

• Reduced blood sugar
• Lowered cholesterol
• Enhanced immune function
• Reduced headache, migraine and back pain (I need this benefit!)
• Improved respiratory function
• Decreased abdominal fat (oh yeah, baby!)

So how can you begin being more mindful?

Start the moment you wake up. Rather than jumping right out of bed, take a few moments to notice the various sensations in your body--your heartbeat, breathing, or the way the sheets feel against your skin. What are you thinking about? Take a moment to be mindful of yourself just be before you get swallowed up in the thoughts of your day to come.

In fact, continue your mindfulness through your shower and morning routine. Notice the feel of the water on your skin, the makeup being smoothed over your face.

Any time you have time, practice being mindful. 

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." 

~ Ferris Bueller

On your morning commute, turn off the talk-radio, and be. Take in the views around you, notice the other cars on the road, the feel of the steering wheel in your hand, the way your back feels pressed against the backseat.

Standing in line at the grocery store, pay attention to the muscles you are using to stand. Feel the measure of your breath.

I'm sure you can find many opportunities each day to practice being in the moment, to be mindful of yourself and all around you. I think all of us could benefit from being more mindful. I think we'd feel less stressed, less hurried, less out of touch with ourselves. 

I was glad to read this article because I needed the reminder to practice being mindful every day. Too often I'm rushing through one activity so I can get to the next. Too often, I'm trying to do multiple things at once, ultimately resulting in nothing getting done to the best of my ability.

That could actually be one of the reasons why I love writing so much--it's impossible to think of anything else, to be anywhere else, when you are writing. The craft demands that you be there, 100% wholly invested.

Just remember, that the benefits of practicing mindfulness begin immediately and are greatest when done consistently over time. So come on, join me for a moment and just ... be.

Book Review ~ Bone Warriors

First of all ... Bron Bahlmann. That's a name made for a book cover if ever I heard one. And Bron was definitely made to be a writer.

Bron started writing when he was in third grade and now has his first published book before the age of sixteen. How cool is that?

I think my boys would especially love Bone Warriors. It has all the stuff that makes a young boys' hearts go all atwitter. 

There's an evil necromancer who forces the souls of those who died hopeless and without fear, power the crude creations in his army of bone warriors. There are two teenage boys, who's parents have been captured by the necromancer's minions, that are determined to save them and all the people of their village at all costs. There are unlikely allies, snake-men, giants, and myriad other amazing creatures.

Bron's story is unique and well-done. It comes to the edge of really scary without being too much (in my opinion.) 

I would recommend Bone Warriors to boys between the ages of 11 and 15. You can buy Bron's book from Amazon here. 

Teaser Tuesday ~ The Jump Boys

Just to mix things up a bit this week . . . here's a tiny excerpt from The Jump Boys:

Jayce pressed the up button on his bed until his nose touched the ceiling. Pressing the down button, the bed’s tiny thrusters quieted and propelled the bed in the other direction, until it lightly bumped off the floor.

“Will you cut that out?” Val stuck his foot out and shoved Jayce’s bed to the other side of the room when it passed him on the way back up.

“Wooo!” laughed Jayce. He loved getting a rise out of Val. Jayce bumped into the media screen currently playing “Kung Fu,” an ancient TV show their mom had found while scouring the Beta Earth archives. Jayce put his hands together in mock humility and bowed to the image of the sun-dried man on the screen.

“My apologies, Master.” He laughed again as his bed spun away on recoil.

**

I want to read your teasers. If you've posted one of your own . . . leave me a comment and I'll come visit. 

Happy Writing!