It's That Time of Year Again ...

One of the things I've been up to lately is pictures, pictures, pictures. I started my own photography business oh about 6 or 7 years ago (it's too much of a brain strain to figure out just how long, lol!). It took me a while to get it going, but once it did it really started to take off. Too fast.

I had to decide whether I was a business woman or a mom. So I scaled things way back and said no to some jobs and took a big risk with my fledgling business. Turns out saying no was the worst thing I could do for my business but the best thing for my sanity and especially for my family.

I am first, and foremost a mom and a wife. Anything and everything else comes second. And while it hurt my business, yes, now my business is really just where I want it to be. I do a maybe a shoot a month or so and really, that's just fine with me. Just enough to give me something fun to do, a little bit of something different, but not so much that it stresses me out and turns a fun thing into an unhappy thing.

This is a family who's order I just put in today:



I do really enjoy photography. I love getting out and spending time with people, helping them capture a moment to remember. I love giving them something they can be proud to display on their wall. This family was very happy to get this picture ... their little girl screamed the whole time despite my best efforts so they were happy with this at-least-not-crying-at-this-moment shot.

Most of all I love being a mom. I love that I am blessed with talents and interests that keep life exciting, but I hope never to forget what is really important ... family.

What I've been up to lately ...

I am finally resurfacing, a bit, and thought I'd share with you what I've been doing. I am a photographer, I even have my own little business; A Work of Heart Photography. However, I don't work too much, both by choice and by happenstance. I have a real love/hate relationship with my photography work. I tend to be a bit obsessive compulsive (har dee har a bit) and so when I'm working I'm W-O-R-K-I-N-G and all else goes to pot. I do detailed editing on each and every pic - well, at least all those that I think are worthy, lol, which is sometimes a lot, sometimes depressingly few. I try though, boy, do I try.

Anyway, this is a little sampling of what I've been up to this past week or so. I did all the photography, all the graphics work. I'm not sure if this is the final product yet, the bride hasn't said yay or nay yet ... but as of last night this was the direction they were going. Obviously, I had to blot out the personal info :)

The Invitation ...

The Ring Ceremony Card ...

The Sealing Card ...

About Me

I've been wanting to write a more complete profile like I've seen on some other blogs, but I just can't figure it out. So, this will have to do. I think I'll keep my 'profile' to my adult life, if you're interested in the 'me' before, say 25, just ask!


My name is Sandra, but I go by Ali which is short for my true-name is Alexandra. Got that? How's that for confusing? I've also gone by Alex too just in case you were wondering. It's a long story, one I might share with you one day, but not one for today.
I was a professional Opera Singer before I became pregnant with my twins. I only had a short career but it was headed in the right direction. I am a coloratura soprano, so my repertoire was limited, but special; only a few true coloraturas are performing in the United States at any one time. Since my boys were born, I haven't performed in that kind of large venue and I don't know if I ever will again. Though it is still so much a part of me, still my dream. One day I will sing again ... maybe. For now, I only get to sing at Church. My music is another thing I'll have to tell you more about some time!
For an artistic outlet I turned to photography. I decided it would be a good job for me to do while I had little children at home so ... I did it. I started my own business, which you can check out at www.aworkofheartphotography.com . Right now my business is undergoing a make-over, but you are welcome to come look anyway.
I've enjoyed my photography work, but it still wasn't that deep-feeling thing that I was looking for ... the way I felt when I was on the stage, singing my heart out. And then it came to me ... I had to find a way to share my soul, to 'reach beyond my reaching' as the hymn says.
I had always wanted to write a book, but other then writing poetry and class assignments, I had no reason to think I could write. But the feeling that was encouraging me to write felt like a calling, WAS calling me, and so I began.
Now I'm a writer, a photographer, and still, always, a singer.
And, of course, I am a Mom. Charlie and Xander are my miracle babies ... definitely a story I should tell you some time.
David, my husband, is my rock, my inspiration, my cheerleader. We've been married for fifteen and a half years. We've endured many challenges and trials, but have come out of each of them thanking our Heavenly Father for what we have learned. Even more stories to tell.
I have a great life. I am so blessed. I can honestly say, I live a life of JOY.

A New Me

So, a little bird told me that she's been checking my blog and spank me but I haven't been writing anything! Who knew anyone was even reading this stuff! So just for her, and for my own sanity, here I sit with "pen to paper" ready to pour out my heart and soul to someone in particular.
I have entered the "working world". This is a very strange place to be. I feel like I've been divided up into too many ME's to properly manage.
There's the WIFE-me.The MOM-me.The PHOTOGRAPHER-me.The SINGER-me.The WRITER-me.and now (drum-roll please ....)The EMPLOYED-me.
How can I possibly wear all these hats?
I think I'm doing okay on the wife front. So check on that. But I know I have not been doing okay on the mommy front. I've been short with the boys, short fuse, no patience, not eager to spend much time with them. Poor babies. They need their mommy. I need to BE their Mommy. I miss it and I can't find the feelings.
I've been working like a crazy woman trying to update my photography site. A total revamp. It's not perfect, but it's ready to be published today but I'm moving it to a new url so it'll take a bit more time. I'm happy with it and while it's "fancier" than before, it will be easier to update I think. I have a couple jobs coming up but had to turn down a chance to shoot a wedding in Nauvoo which really bummed me out. The risk was terrifying (flying in the day before, scoping out photo-ops/vignettes, no assistant, few of my "tools of the trade" like lights and stuff), but the opportunity would have been amazing (rep in new place, this would have been a BIG wedding so lots of new connections for me, awesome for my portfolio to feature some "away" places). But alas I had to turn it down due to a family conflict (it was over the New Year holiday). Bummer :( At least I do have a few jobs coming down the pike to keep me busy and help me spread my wings more.
I am totally sucking at the WRITER job. I was feeling so excited and hopeful ... BEFORE. Before I got this new job, that is. I've finished the edits on my first draft so am ready to re-write/enter in the edits thereby making my SECOND draft. There were parts in the middle of my manuscript that I thougth "who wrote this crap? wow, I really do SUCK!!!", but then at the end of the book I was in tears and was just so touched and moved by what I'd written that I was thinking "holy cats this is GOOD! I wrote THIS??? yay for me!". But now I've done no writing whatsoever for a couple weeks. Sad. I have several other books waiting in the wings just waiting to be written ... I've GOT to get writing! But who can find the time!
And, and, and! I made some contacts in the music world last week! I was offered a chance to do a 45 minute recital next spring/summer up in Logan. And a chance to get connected with the opera people up in Logan and Ogden. Very cool. GOT to find the time for some practice and stuff though. Time? PAH!!!
I had envisioned back-to-school to be the mecca of personal expression. I would work on promoting my photography business. I would dedicate whole mornings to writing - I would BE a writer. I would practice my singing every day. I would be so personally fulfilled by the end of the morning I would have tons of love and attention to give to my sweet little boys when they got home from school.
But then nasty reality reared his ugly head and proved that I needed to go get a job. Thankfully an awesome job fell into my lap that will allow my to work from home, earn a decent pay, selling and servicing a product I can believe in and get behind. Only it means I have to throw all my balls into the air at once and see if I can snatch them all OUT of the air again, trying not to drop any. How can I do it? Somethings got to give but I'm not sure I can give up anything. How can I deny who I am? What IS me? I AM all these things. See, I didn't list scrapbooking or quilting or crocheting or whatever - all of which I love to do too - I only listed those things that are DEFINING. I AM ... things. I find I AM really fighting the WORKING definition.
I told David if I can't figure out a way to be a nice mom, then I'll be quitting this new job. Whatever else, the boys deserve a loving, good mom, not a stressed out mom. But I do hope I CAN make it work because money is stressful in a different sort of way. The lack of money makes me an unhappy girl which has it's only ripple effect. So, I do hope I can make it work.
Time to work on the second step in my Recovering Perfectionist program, which I think should be "SOMETHIN'S GOTTA GO". Trick is, what's gotta go? Thoughts to chew on till I can write again!