There's a New Kid on the Blogck

For the past month I've been a guest blogger on LDS Writers Blogck. Today, is my first official post as a regular contributor to the blog.

How in the world, am I going to handle yet another blog? Oh yeah baby, you don't know the half of it--but that's a blog for another day.

LDS Writer's Blogck is the offical voice of Authors Incognito. The theme is, naturally, writing--and every day there is a new post by a different writer. My day is Mondays.

So high tail it on over there and check it out. Today I wrote about the importance of a writer having thick skin--crocodile skin, to be exact. 

Cross Blogination

About a year ago Tristi decided she needed to simplify her life and one of the ways that she did that was to cut back on her blogs. I considered doing the same thing, but I have a few followers on each of my blogs and I didn't want to let them down.

But life is what it is and simplicity is a gem worth searching for, polishing up, and keeping front and center in your view at all times.

So, I think I've figured out a way to build simplicity into my life and to not give up my blogs altogether.

I have three blogs--The Cross Family which talks about my experiences with home schooling my boys. I'll leave that one the way it is.

However, my writing blog and this one are compatible, hence the cross blogination I intend.

When I post on my writing blog, I will also post it here. Likewise, when I post here, I will also blog there.

What will that mean to you? Hopefully it'll mean that you see more entries here, and that you'll read more about my writing.

We'll try it out and see how it goes. Let me know if it bugs you.

Feminism, Mormonism and Optimism

When did I become so closed-minded?

Or, rather, when did I cross the aisle and begin to fight for the enemy?

When I was a university student I was all about sexual equality. I could do anything a man could do and do it better, even (sing with me now folks "anything you can do, I can do better!"). I planned to not only have a kick-butt career but to kick feminine stereotypes too.

Oh, I thought I *might* one day have a child - but only one, and even then just for the experience of it. Just to say "I did it" and then because I was a modern feminist woman, right? I can do it all. I can have it all.

I had some issues with the whole men-only priesthood thing when the missionaries first introduced me to the Church. How could I really belong to a church that wouldn't allow women to be leaders? To be spiritual leaders? I was just as spiritual as any man, any day. Maybe even more so.

And I was supposed to just be a mother?

Uh, I think not.

But then, I had a change of heart.

A spiritual experience that rocked my world and changed the way I saw myself. Just like that. Like lightning from a cloudless sky my perception of my role, of who I was, of who I was to become, shifted. 

Yesterday I was called as to be a Den Leader for the Cub Scouts. I was so, darn happy to get this calling. I had envisioned any number of callings I might receive all of which I was less-than-thrilled about. However, I had determined to go in with an open mind and open heart and accept whatever it was I was called to do. 

So when they said Den Leader, I was elated for a number of reasons.

1. It's a much easier calling than all the ones I'd conjured up in my head in the days leading up to my call.
2. I get to be with my boys and I kind of like them, so I'm okay with that.
3. I get to serve with another gal in my ward who I really like.
4. The time commitment is a lot less demanding than the YW calling I had last.
5. I don't have to be in charge of anything which is something I had feared a bit.
6. I like scouting and think it's a great program that my boys are lucky to be able to participate in.
7. And probably a bunch more reasons that I'm too lazy to think of right now.

When I got home from church late yesterday afternoon, I immediately googled "Den Leader Cub Scouts LDS" in hopes of finding some info on what the calling entailed. The first link that came up was to this blog post at Feminist Mormon Housewives. 

At the time I read it, there were 113 comments. I only skimmed them, but from what I could see they were all but one responses of people agreeing with the blogger's point of view which was basically that scouting within the Church was a bad idea and they hated the calling. 

Since then I haven't been able to get that blog out of my mind. I've been stewing on it, rolling it over in my head, and generally noodling on the whole idea of feminist Mormon housewives. 

The original housewife herself said the name was an oxymoron and she like it that way. Her intent in beginning the blog was to provide an outlet for other women like herself to be Mormon, a housewife, while also being liberal and self-proclaimed feminist.

See now, this is where I realize that I am not the girl I once was. I used to call myself feminist. Now it tastes like a bad word in my mouth.

From a girl who ridiculed motherhood and valued it for naught, I have become a woman who embraces it with my whole heart. I no longer have any qualms at all at being a mother rather than a priesthood holder. I don't know that these Housewives do either, I'm just sayin'.

For me, and this is where my judgemental self is going to peek out of her closet for a second, I would say that I think women who still call themselves feminist are not fully converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

Ok, I need to qualify that. A feminist is simply one who considers herself, as a woman, equal to any man. And I think any LDS woman can get behind that. We know we are created equal. However, I think feminism has come to mean a whole 'nother thing. And honestly to read the various blog entries of the women at Feminist Mormon Housewives, I think they belong more to that other camp, the one I used to be a member of too, before I, well, saw the light.

When I commented on that den leader post about how I was looking forward to my new calling and I felt sad that this woman was serving in a calling she hated, one of the bloggers on the site called me 'holier than thou'. If having a little optimism, seeing hope in a new situation and hoping all that I work with are expecting the best for themselves too, is 'holier than thou' than I don't know how to be a latter day saint, I guess.

Isn't that what we're supposed to do? Move forward in faith? Expect the best, from ourselves and others around us? This experience has taught me a sad lesson: that not everyone out there is happy doing what they are doing in the church. I thought, perhaps naively, that most people serve willingly and happily in the church. Oh sure, I've had callings that have worn me out, that I haven't been able to get the hang of and that I hope never to have again. But if I were called to one of them again? I would accept, and then get right onto my knees.

Now, if that makes me holier than you, I'm not sure what to say.

For me, it just means that I know better than to think I can do anything in this big, bad world without the help of my Father in Heaven. I am just learning and stumbling and fumbling my way through and hoping for the best . . . always hoping for the best.

I am still a feminist, and personally, I think I got the better deal, this whole motherhood thing versus the priesthood. Who wouldn't curl their toes in happiness in response to their children's shouts of sheer joy at the prospect of spending more time with you? 

I am a Mormon, and it has changed me profoundly. I am so much better for it.

And, I am an optimist. 

Call me crazy, kooky or stuck up, but happiness is where you find it . . . and that my friends, if wherever you choose to look for it. 

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Blog Award

I admit it, there's a blog award that I really, really want. And I was super disappointed when I didn't get it. Pretty sad, eh? I just thought ... well, the award is for people who are 'keepin' it real' on their blogs and I thought I did that pretty well. Shoot. Darn. Errr. 

Not that I'm sorry the worthy people who got it, well, got it. 'Cause they're totally real. And I love their blogs. And it's all cool. It's just that, dang, I want that award!

But, I did have a moment of shame when I realized that I hadn't, in fact, been entirely honest.

I started up that new blog Food Fights and Binges Bite, and I told you not to come. I hid my identity on that other blog because I was ashamed of what I was saying about myself. I didn't want to be REAL. 

So, I'm comin' clean. I am who I am. I created that other blog because I didn't want to keep dragging you guys on my weight loss/weight gain roller coaster, and because there were darker feelings lurking there that are pretty heavy for the average reader. When I write that stuff, my deepest feelings, fears and stuff, there should be a "Read at your own risk" warning. 

You can go there, you can read about my food fights and my binges, but I wanted to spare you the really ugly bits. 

There, I came clean. I'm keepin' it REAL. Maybe now I'll get that darn award. 

What Is There To Talk About?

You would think after not writing a proper post in four weeks that I'd be brimming with things to tell you. But now that I'm here, seeing somewhat well enough to actually write ... I, well ... I can't think of anything to say.

Hmm.

I could tell you that I'm still in my p.j.'s and it's almost 1:00 in the afternoon. And I don't even have school to blame ~ we've only managed to get about three lessons done and there's been much wailing and gnashing of teeth to even get that much done.

But that would make me look bad and I want you to be glad that I'm back, so I'm not going to tell you that.

I could tell you that my house is a mess and I've been binging a lot lately instead of cleaning it.

But again, that paints me in poor light and I want you to like me, not be disgusted with me.

I could tell you how I have all my Christmas shopping done, my home is decorated to perfection and my boys have been happily baking Christmas cookies with me to give to our neighbors, but that simply would not be the truth.

The truth is, I've been going through the motions every day, hanging in there, some days climbingin onto one of the branches of life, only to fall off the next day where I hang, swinging in the breeze for days.

At least I'm still ON the tree, right?

But seriously, things are going okay. I'm glad that my eyesight is returning. It has been unbelievably hard not to be able to read or write for four weeks. I most miss reading my scriptures. My husband was out of town last week and it drove me crazy that I could dig my teeth into a juicy novel and read, read, read while he was away. 

And I was really bummed to miss Jen's Self-Esteem Carnival because I wanted to have a chance to win the book she was giving away. Now I'm gonna have to go buy it.

I've started a new blog, that I'm not sure I want to invite you to, so I'll only post it here this once and that way it'll be obscure enough to miss the attention of most people. It's a blog about my food issues and weight loss efforts. It's called Food Fights and Binges Bite. Don't go there. It's just a big ol' pitty party. At least I won't party here. No more of that. Innocents such as you do not deserve to be subjected to my insanity.

Well, some versions of my insanity, but certainly not all.

Homeschool is going well (except for today.) 

All is well.

Tomorrow I will challenge myself to write something a bit more interesting. Maybe I'll go surfing and hijack someone else's good idea. *U*

An Awesome Way to Organize Your Blogging Time

I have a ton of blogs I like to read, plus places to visit online. For a long time I was totally overwhelmed by the blog-load and either would end up reading the same blogs all the time (at the top of my list) or not reading any at all, because how do I read one without reading them all? I'm an equal-opportunity reader, after all. Heaven forbid I should hurt someone's feelings by not stopping by their blog when I had to time read so-and-so's blog. I'm sure ya'll know what I mean.

Google Reader didn't work for me. Blog rolls didn't work for me. RSS feeds didn't work for me. 

But RapSheet DOES work for me. It's still not perfect, still has stuff that needs to be fixed, still doesn't have stuff I wish it did, but for me it's awesome.

So here's what I did to organize my online reading time: I downloaded my own rapsheet. You can get your own by going here. Then I made a Monday/Wednesday/Friday sheet for those blogs that update often, a Tuesday/Thursday sheet, a Saturday sheet and a Sunday sheet. I filled up each sheet with the appropriate blogs or sites and voila! Now I can easily get my reading in and everyone's happy! 

So it's Thursday today, and when I logged into my computer this morning, I clicked on my T/TH RapSheet tab and opened the first blog. Because the sheets smoothly move on to the next one, when I have another minute, I can just click on the next blog because it saves my place for me. I don't miss any blogs that way and, well, it's just plain awesome, like I said. 

Check it out and let me know if it works for you too!

I feel so loved ...

Tristi gave me a lovely gift, the more so because it came from one of the loveliest people.

This award is especially sweet to me because being nice is very important to me. It's not about being a pansy, it's about respect. I won't let you walk all over me, because I'm a person of value and worthy of your respect. I don't need to be sarcastic or rude to you if your opinion differs from mine, because I can still respect you. Through it all, I can be nice, you can be nice and I bet my patootie that we'd all be happier for it.

I'd like to pass this award on to Candace Salima, who though she is very busy and I am a 'little person' she takes the time to comment on my little blog, write very thoughtful and engaging posts on her own blog, and responds kindly to visitors to her blog. She's NICE!

Here's to being Nice! Pass it on! :)

Blogging Award

The Thoughtful Blogger Award is for those who answer blog comments, emails, and make their visitors feel at home on their blogs. For the people who take others' feelings into consideration before speaking out and who are kind and courteous. Also for all of those bloggers who spend so much of their time helping other bloggers design, improve, and fix their sites. This award is for those generous bloggers who think of others.

A little while ago Tristi Pinkston passed along this nice little award. I was so surprised, so pleased, that I haven't quite known how to respond. I think I was afraid that I couldn't live up to what this award supposedly said about me.

But, she did give it to me, after all, and like any self-respecting girl, I like crowns and so I'll wear this one (I can pretend it comes with a crown, right?) with pride.

Thank you for thinking so well of my Tristi!